As I walked casually out of the Masjid after Jumaa prayer last Friday, I passed by a bunch of guys who were chatting laughingly all together. As I walked past them, I heard one of them say: “Yeah, I got married, but got divorced afterwards” and he bursted out laughing with his pals. I looked behind right away and noticed that the guy was in his mid-20s, then walked away.
Before I get to comment on this incident, let me just review what Allah told us about marriage and divorce.
وَكَيْفَ تَأْخُذُونَهُ وَقَدْ أَفْضَى بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَى بَعْضٍ وَأَخَذْنَ مِنْكُمْ مِيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا
قال أبو جعفر الطبري: الميثاق الذي عُني به في هذه الآية: هو ما أخذ للمرأة على زوجها عند عُقْدة النكاح من عهدٍ على إمساكها بمعروف أو تسريحها بإحسان، فأقرَّ به الرجل. لأن الله جل ثناؤه بذلك أوصى الرجالَ في نسائهم
In Surat Al Nisaa’ verse 21, Allah has described marriage as the “firm and strong covenant” with noticeable emphasis on the solidity of this sacred bond. The idea of marriage should not be dealt with such recklessly as some “daily routine” issue, where you marry some girl one day and let her go the other day. As a matter of fact, your spouse is the most worthy person of your dutifulness and affability (both words sum up to the Arabic word إحسان) right after your parents.
Fortunately, our Islamic society has always perceived (not necessarily practised) the idea of marriage nearly as close as our Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) did. No matter how deviated we are now from his teachings, we still got the ethical and spiritual basics about marriage carved deep inside our hearts and souls. However, nobody ever wishes for those “carvings” to perish with time, and this exactly what is gradually happening nowadays in our society; via our continuous divergence away from Islam and our blind imitation of western cultural practices. For example, nobody wants our commonly known pre-marital “teenage” relationships (which are improper themselves) to unconsciously transform to their teenage relationships, and complicate afterwards. Such complications could have utterly severe consequences on our social relationships as Muslims, and would knock down another moral pillar alongside those which are already knocked down.
What should we do? In a nutshell, we have to hold fast, all of us together, to the Rope of Allah (i.e. the Holy Quraan) and not be divided among ourselves. We have to hold fast to the teachings of our Prophet (peace be upon him), see how did he behave towards his wives, and practically engage in getting those precious values back to life. We have our values to hold firmly on to, they don’t, and that’s what shall keep us sustained inshAllah until the day the Earth vanishes away.